Episode 130. Transforming Defensiveness: From Conflict to Connection in Relationships
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If defending yourself is important for protecting your self-respect in relationships, then why is "defensiveness" so bad? In this episode, we discuss "acceptable" and "not acceptable" defensiveness and cover strategies to transform those knee-jerk defensive reactions into opportunities for growth and connection. We talk about how to navigate the tricky terrain of criticism—whether it involves character slights or behavior-focused feedback.
We peel back the layers of defensiveness, from professional settings to the nuanced dynamics within friendships and romantic relationships. Societal issues like microaggressions play into our defensive behaviors, while empathy and understanding can bridge gaps in communication. We highlight the importance of avoiding character attacks and fostering a more open dialogue. We share tips for handling emotional conflicts, the impact of rejection sensitivity, and how varying defense mechanisms—from primitive to mature—can either hinder or heal our interactions. |
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