A LITTLE HELP FOR OUR FRIENDS PODCAST
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Season 1

EP. 1: FINDING MEANING IN THE PANDEMIC

COVID-19 and resultant quarantine have led to job loss, separation, boredom, and a whole lot of uncertainty about the future. In this episode, we discuss Dialectical Behavioral Therapy's IMPROVE skills as a way we might help your friends who are suffering from COVID-related anxiety and depression. We end with a focused discussion on meaning, especially through the work of Holocaust-survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl.

Resources:
  • Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT Skills training handouts and worksheets. Guilford Publications.
  • Frankl, V. E. (1985). Man's search for meaning. Simon and Schuster.
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Ep. 2: Talking about Substance abuse

Some of us have noticed that our roommates, loved ones, or friends have started drinking or using drugs more during COVID-19. Has it become a problem? If so, what do we do? In this episode, we outline the DSM criteria for substance abuse and discuss our own struggles with loved ones who suffered from severe alcoholism. We discuss the importance of boundaries, managing expectations, and self-care. We end with tips for opening a dialogue with friends whose drinking or drug use are beginning to concern us.

Resources:
  • ​https://www.samhsa.gov/
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EP. 3: BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious psychiatric illness that can be especially challenging for loved ones suffering from this disorder. In this episode, we share insights from the BPD literature to understand what this disorder is and how it develops in the first place. This episode features a special guest speaker, Dr. Zachary Rosenthal from Duke University who is an expert on treating BPD and will share tips on how loved ones of people with BPD can manage these relationships. 

Resources:
  • ​​Manning, S. Y. (2011). Loving someone with borderline personality disorder: How to keep out-of-control emotions from destroying your relationship. Guilford Press.
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EP. 4: ATTACHED IN THE PANDEMIC 

Quarantining with our romantic partners has been a gift for some of us, a challenge for others. What kinds of relationships have thrived in the pandemic and which ones have suffered? In this episode, we will draw upon attachment theory to discuss how to understand and navigate the unique challenges romantic relationships face during this pandemic. 

Resources:
  • Fruzzetti, A. (2006). The high-conflict couple: A dialectical behavior therapy guide to finding peace, intimacy, and validation. New Harbinger Publications.
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Episode 5: It's time for empathy

In this time of social distancing and national divisions, empathy is needed more than ever. Empathy is the ability to perceive, understand, and react to other people's emotions. In this episode, we talk about the different types of empathy and how lacking empathy in relationships can relate to mental health problems. We share tips from clinical science (e.g. Kibby's dissertation!) about how one can improve the ability to empathize with others.
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Resources:
  • https://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/validation.html
  • https://www.matthieuricard.org/en/blog/posts/empathy-and-the-cultivation-of-compassion
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Episode 6: Understanding trauma

Recent events like the Me Too Movement, Black Lives Matter, and the pandemic have brought awareness to the many faces of trauma and its ripple effects on our lives. Although we may feel compassion for our loved ones who are trauma survivors, it can be a uniquely challenging experience to be close to someone struggling with symptoms of trauma. In this episode, we describe what trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are and how to spot symptoms in our loved ones. We are also joined by a special guest, Dr. Caitlin Fang, who is both a therapist with expertise in treating trauma and someone with a trauma survivor as a loved one. 
Resources:
  • https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments
  • Van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.
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Episode 7: Setting boundaries

Requested by our lovely audience, we delve deeper into the topic of setting boundaries with our loved ones struggling with mental health issues. In the past few episodes, we have emphasized the need to use empathy/validation (check out Episode 5) while setting boundaries to manage these difficult relationships. But how do we even do that? In this episode, we discuss the nuances of setting boundaries and the DEAR MAN skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a framework for asserting your needs.
Resources:
  • https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php
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Episode 8: The web of depression

Depression is one of the most common psychiatric disorders, but it continues to confuse, frustrate, and elude the people around those who suffer from it. In this episode, we talk about how depression is not just a mood, but an illness that affects the way people engage with their goals, relationships, and themselves. Jacqueline shares her personal struggles with depression. We also feature an interview with a special guest, Dr. Tim Strauman, a professor at Duke University who is an expert in depression and treatments for depression. 
Resources:
  • Burns, D. D., & Beck, A. T. (1999). Feeling good: The new mood therapy.
  • Eddington, K. M., Strauman, T. J., Vieth, A. Z., & Kolden, G. G. (2017). Self-system therapy for depression: Therapist guide. Oxford University Press.
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Episode 9: Loving a narcissist

Are you dating someone who simultaneously draws you in yet keeps you at arms length? Thinks the world of him/herself yet crumbles at any criticism?  Puts themselves on display yet hides themselves? You might be with someone who has pathological levels of narcissism. Having an ego and self-esteem is normal and healthy, but some loved ones struggle with them so much that it can be considered Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In this episode, we talk about how pathological narcissism affect romantic relationships and give real-world examples from Jacqueline's dating history. We also feature a very special guest, Dr. Diana Diamond, who is Kibby's clinical supervisor at Weill Cornell/NY Presbyterian hospital and an expert on pathological narcissism.
Resources:
  • Dr. Diana Diamond on narcissism and relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Okqf8G-JWo8
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Episode 10. Coping with loneliness

In this pandemic winter, loneliness has weighed more heavily on all of us this holiday season. In this episode, we discuss coping with feeling lonely, whether it's because of a temporary state of being socially isolated, a recent loss of important relationships, or a more long-standing pattern of disconnection from others. Jacqueline and Kibby talk about their experiences treating chronic loneliness in therapy and share tips on how to reconnect with others in our lives. 

Resources:
  • Cacioppo, J. T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human nature and the need for social connection. WW Norton & Company.
  • The 36 Questions That Lead to Love: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html
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Episode 11. Clarifying values

Instead of setting New Years resolutions, we're learning how to live in line with our values for 2021. In this episode, we discuss how we understand "values" in contemporary cognitive behavioral therapies and how to get back in touch with them to live a meaningful life. Kibby helps Jacqueline clarify her values to show how we would approach this topic with our therapy clients.

Check out the worksheets below if you want help clarifying your personal values.
Resources:
  • https://www.actmindfully.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Values_Checklist_-_Russ_Harris.pdf
  • https://positivepsychology.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Personal-Values-Worksheet.pdf
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Episode 12. Addressing suicide

Many of us have had the terrifying experience of talking with a loved one who is considering suicide and not knowing how to help. Some of us have even lost friends and family to suicide and felt a staggering range of emotions from despair to anger to intense anxiety. Often these reactions leave us feeling guilty and ashamed. Kibby discusses her own recent experience of losing someone to suicide and we read a listener's story of how her brother's suicide affected her family. Finally, we are joined by Harvard Medical School professor Dr. Kate Bentley, a suicide researcher and clinician who gives us actionable advice for helping a friend considering suicide.

Resources:
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ ): 1-800-723-TALK
  • Crisis text line (https://www.crisistextline.org/ ): 741741
  • American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (afsp.org)
  • SAMHSA (https://www.samhsa.gov/childrens-awareness-day/event/resources-suicide-prevention)
  • Suicide Prevention Resource Center (https://www.sprc.org/
  • ​https://www.nowmattersnow.org/
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Episode 13. Bachelorette's Zac Clark on Addiction recovery

In this special episode, Zac Clark from ABC's "Bachelorette" joins us for an in-depth interview on recovery from alcohol and drug abuse. He shares stories and lessons from his journey through addiction to recovery, especially the important role his loved ones played in this process. He also shares his passion for helping others struggling with addiction through his Release Recovery program and fund raising efforts to support this community.
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​Resources:
  • https://releaserecovery.com/
  • GIVE to the Release Recovery Foundation to support addiction recovery services for underserved communities: https://releaserecoveryfoundation.org/ 
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Episode 14. What is codependency?

How do we know if we're in a codependent relationship? In this episode, we discuss what is codependency and how you can tell if you are in a codependent relationship or in a normal relationship with a healthy amount of dependency. Jacqueline shares a friend's description of her codependent family and we discuss how to identify and remove yourself from such relationships.

​Resources:
  • ​https://positivepsychology.com/wp-content/uploads/Codependency-Questionnaire.pdf
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Episode 15. Psychedelics: The future of mental health treatment

We might think of psychedelics as the inspiration behind Flower power or Steve Jobs' visionary insights, but we would never guess that it would be the promise of new treatments for mental health. In this episode, we talk to Dr. Paul Seli, a cognitive psychologist from Duke University, about the new efforts to understand how psychedelics like psilocybin and LSD can improve depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction.  *Warning: We  discuss personal experiences and caveats for taking these drugs. We do not endorse use and abuse of illegal substances.
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​Resources:
  • Pollan, M. (2019). How to change your mind: What the new science of psychedelics teaches us about consciousness, dying, addiction, depression, and transcendence. Penguin Books. 
  • Pinchbeck, D. (2003). Breaking open the head: A psychedelic journey into the heart of contemporary shamanism. Crown.
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Episode 16. Living with Social anxiety

Social anxiety is the hidden struggle of being terrified of making a new friend, going on a date, attending a party, or interviewing for a new job. Social interactions are a ubiquitous part of a life, so having a loved one who is anxious of meeting or talking to less familiar people can often be challenging. In this episode, we talk about what social anxiety disorder is and how it is treated with cognitive behavioral therapies. Jacqueline's brother Andrew (founder of Low Country Kettle Potato Chips) also joins us to describe his lifelong struggle with social anxiety and how he has learned to cope with it. 

Resources:
  • Hope, D. A., Heimberg, R. G., & Juster, H. A. (2004). Managing social anxiety: A cognitive-behavioral therapy approach client workbook. Graywind Publications.​
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Episode 17. managing anger

​We often think of anger as a huge problem, making us lose control and destroy our relationships. Although the ways we may express it can be problematic, anger is an important emotion that can protect us. In this episode, we discuss the reasons why we have anger, how anger can cause problems in our relationships, and how we can better manage it. Kibby and Jacqueline share our personal experiences with anger and draw parallels to how it's addressed in therapy.

Resources:
  • Fruzzetti, A. (2006). The high-conflict couple: A dialectical behavior therapy guide to finding peace, intimacy, and validation. New Harbinger Publications.
  • Hanh, T. N. (2002). Anger: Wisdom for cooling the flames. Penguin.​
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Episode 18. Panic attacks and panic disorder

Panic attacks are some of the most intense, frightening emotional experiences and can make everyone involved feel completely helpless. They are overwhelming moments of intense anxiety that can make you feel like you are losing your mind or having a heart attack. In this episode, we discuss what panic attacks and panic disorder are and how to treat them. Dr. Paul Seli, professor of cognitive psychology at Duke University, will join us again to describe his personal experiences with panic disorder and working through it with principles of cognitive behavioral therapy. 

Resources:
  • Barlow, H., & Michelle, G. Mastery of Your Anxiety and Panic Workbook (Treatments that Work) 2000.
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Episode 19. ADHD in romantic relationships

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a challenging syndrome of difficulty paying attention, staying organized, or controlling impulses. ADHD can cause a lot of problems in romantic relationships, both for the person diagnosed with ADHD and his or her partner without ADHD. In this episode, we discuss what ADHD is and how it's diagnosed, as well as the common issues it creates in relationships. Kibby and Jacqueline share personal challenges with ADHD in their romantic relationships, share followers' stories, and give tips on how to manage these problems. 

Resources:
  • Safren, S. A., Sprich, S. E., Perlman, C. A., & Otto, M. W. (2017). Mastering your adult ADHD: A cognitive-behavioral treatment program, therapist guide. Oxford university press.
  • https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adult-adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-and-relationships.htm
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Episode 20. Interview with ben higgins on feeling alone in plain sight

In this very special episode, the 20th Bachelor Ben Higgins joins us to discuss struggling with loneliness and self-doubt. He also talks about learning to connect to himself and others, a personal and professional transformation that he describes in his latest book, "Alone in Plain Sight: Searching for Connection When You're Seen but Not Known."

Resources:
  • Higgins, B. (2021). Alone in Plain Sight: Searching for Connection When You Are Seen But Not Known. Nelson Books. 
  • https://generousmovement.com/
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​Episode 21. Uncovering the process of therapy

In this episode, we address our listeners' questions and concerns about the process of therapy. In a recent controversy, old tweets from Taylor Nolan (former Bachelor contestant and current therapist) revealed public, negative judgments about her therapy clients and minority groups. In response to this incident, many of you reached out to us with questions about how they can feel comfortable opening up and trusting a new therapist. We discuss our experiences as therapists, how to find a good therapist, and the process of therapy from our perspective. 
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Episode 22. Anorexia in the family

Many teens and adolescents struggle with body image, but what happens when the struggle becomes an eating disorder? In this episode, we invite Dr. Nandini Datta from Stanford University to tell us about eating disorders in this vulnerable population. She talks to us about signs and symptoms of anorexia in teens, her experiences treating anorexia with family-based interventions, and tips for loved ones struggling with this scary and life-threatening illness. 

Resources:
  • Lock, J., & Le Grange, D. (2015). Help your teenager beat an eating disorder. Guilford Publications.
  • Zucker, N. (2006). Off the CUFF: A parent skills book for the management of disordered eating. Duke University Medical Center.
  • https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
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Episode 23. chasing perfection

"I'm a perfectionist" may be the favorite answer to interview questions about our weaknesses, as perfectionism is often secretly considered an attractive trait. However, perfectionism can wreak havoc on our mental health and our relationships. In this episode, we discuss different types of perfectionism and its extreme form, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. We talk about how we would treat the downsides of perfectionism with cognitive behavioral therapies and tips for people struggling under the unrelenting standards of their perfectionist loved ones. 

Resources:
  • https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Workbook-Perfectionism-Acceptance-Self-Compassion/dp/1684038073
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Episode 24. Gaslighting

Are you being gaslit? The very nature of gaslighting makes it hard to tell whether it's happening in a relationship, but maybe you can tell that you are feeling lost, "crazy," unsure of your own perspective when dealing with a loved one. In this episode, we discuss what gaslighting is, how to identify when you're being gaslit and what to do about it. We share personal stories, insights from research, and follower stories to highlight the damaging effects of gaslighting on our wellbeing. 

Resources:
  • Stern, R. (2018). The gaslight effect: How to spot and survive the hidden manipulation others use to control your life. Harmony.
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Episode 25. Mindfulness for beginners

In recent years, mindfulness has infused itself through every facet of self-care and well-being in modern society. However, it can seem intimidating or even inaccessible if you're new to mindfulness. In this episode, we discuss the basic definition of mindfulness and how to practice it. Kibby also guides Jacqueline through a brief breathing meditation. 

Resources:
  • Kabat-Zinn, J. (2009). Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life. Hachette Books.
  • dharma.org
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Episode 26. Putting out fires: Skills for managing emotional crises

Emotions can sometimes get so intense and overwhelming, that they seem like bombs going off inside us. When we're in an emotional crisis, we may feel totally out of control and driven by our feelings of panic, rage, shame, etc that may lead us to do things we later regret. In this episode, we talk about these periods of emotional crisis, how to identify them, and how to use TIPP skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy to get back in control of our emotions.

Resources:
  • https://manhattancbt.com/archives/1452/dbt-tipp-skills/
  • https://www.reddit.com/r/SelfCareCharts/comments/fjzzj6/distress_tolerance_skill_tipp/
  • Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT Skills training handouts and worksheets. Guilford Publications.
  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClqPtWzozXs
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Episode 27. Interview with Jenna cooper: cyberbullying

In the age of the internet, bullying has been taken to new extremes. Cyberbullying, harassment delivered through email, text, or other online platforms, can wreak havoc on the mental health of its victims. Jenna Cooper from ABC's "The Bachelor" and "Bachelor in Paradise" joins us to open up about her painful experiences being cyberbullied, how it affected her mental health and relationships, and how she overcame its devastating effects. 

Resources:
  • https://www.cybersmile.org/advice-help/category/who-to-call
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Episode 28. MuNchausen Syndrome and Munchausen by Proxy

After this pandemic, it would seem unbelievable that anyone would want to be sick. However, people suffering from Munchausen and Munchausen by proxy intentionally fabricate or exaggerate illness for their own gain. This debilitating and often abusive behavior can have widespread consequences for the individuals, families, and even providers involved. In this episode, we have a conversation with special guests Dr. Marc Feldman, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Alabama and expert in Munchausen, and Andrea Dunlop, an author with personal experiences with Munchausen by proxy. Dr. Feldman and Andrea describe this mind-boggling disorder and its devastating effects on the community. 

Resources: 
  • Dr. Feldman's website: Dr. Marc Feldman | Munchausen Syndrome & Factitious Disorders Expert
  • Andrea Dunlop's website: Andrea DunlopAndrea Dunlop Author
  • ​APSAC's guidelines for clinical care: https://www.apsac.org/9235fgnl8​
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Episode 29. Veteran Mental health

Through incredible sacrifice and hard work for our nation, veterans often struggle with reintegrating back in civilian society and mental health issues from their service. Loved ones of veterans often witness these struggles as well as understand how they can affect families and communities. Fortunately, the Veteran Affairs (VA) system offers significant psychological and psychiatric services and support for veterans and their families. We speak to Dr. Steven Sayers, associate professor of psychology in psychiatry at the Veteran's Administration Medical Center and in department of psychiatry at University of Pennsylvania, about veteran mental health and the program Coaching in Care that supports loved ones of veterans seeking mental health treatment. 

Resources:
  • Coaching Into Care: ​​https://www.mirecc.va.gov/coaching/
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Episode 30. Interview with Caroline Lunny: fertility and the journey to motherhood

Women who want to become mothers often face challenges of infertility and bad relationships. What is the road to motherhood like for these women who find themselves on paths other than the standard, white-picket-fence families you see on social media? Caroline Lunny from ABC's Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise opens up about her journey with fertility issues, egg-freezing, and shifting her perspective on toxic relationships. 
  •  https://draimee.org/the-egg-whisperer-show-podcast
  • ​Twenge, J. M. (2012). The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant. Simon and Schuster.
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Episode 31. worrying about worry

Many of our minds are are filled with worries, spinning over the "what if's," worse case scenarios, and solutions that don't feel satisfying. In this episode, we discuss the reason why we worry and how to manage worries that are out of control. We also share tips for those with loved ones who tend to worry a lot. 

Resources:
  • ​Leahy, R. L. (2005). The worry cure: Seven steps to stop worry from stopping you. Harmony.
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Episode 32. Postpartum depression

Postpartum depression has been on the rise since new mothers take on this new role in the pandemic. Although becoming a parent is always challenging, the persistent negative feelings, irritability, trouble bonding with the baby, and other such experiences can be signs of this illness. In this episode, we invite Dr. Susan Karabell from the women's clinic at Weill Cornell to tell us what postpartum depression is, what are similar postpartum mental health disorders, how it's treated, and what loved ones can do to help.

Resources:
  • Postpartum Support International: Postpartum.net
  • Mass General/Harvard: Womensmentalhealth.org
  • Marce Society for Perinatal Mental Health: Marcesociety.com
  • Project Teach NY: https://projectteachny.org/
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Episode 33. Managing burnout

Burnout is on the rise in the pandemic, as we struggled to keep up with our responsibilities while feeling more exhausted and unmotivated. As much as we'd like to blame Zoom fatigue, burnout is a serious syndrome that spans across different types of jobs and professional roles. In this episode, we define burnout and discuss how to address it. Kibby and Jacqueline share personal stories of burnout and the different manifestations it can take. 

Resources:
  • https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/well-being-and-burnout/well-being-resources
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Episode 34. Surviving breakups

Ending a romantic relationship is always challenging, for both the people in the relationship and the loved ones on the sidelines. In this episode, we discuss the different reasons why breakups are so painful and what we can do to help our loved ones going through them. 

Resources:
  • ​Dunlop, W. L., Harake, N., & Wilkinson, D. (2021). Romantic heartbreak: Prevalence, personality traits, and personal stories. Personal Relationships, 28(1), 148-168.
  • Field, T. (2011). Romantic breakups, heartbreak and bereavement—Romantic breakups. Psychology, 2(04), 382.
  • Rhoades, G. K., Kamp Dush, C. M., Atkins, D. C., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2011). Breaking up is hard to do: the impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction. Journal of family psychology, 25(3), 366.
  • https://www.byrdie.com/breakup-books-5112538
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Episode 35. breakups part 2: Ending Relationships

Although breakups are complex and painful for all those involved, it is a unique challenge to be in the position of "dumping" someone. In this episode, we follow up on our previous episode on breakups by discussing the process of ending romantic relationships. Jacqueline discusses in depth her break up with Arie on ABC's The Bachelor. We also explain a guide to breaking up with someone from Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

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Resources:
  • http://suzannerobison.com/interpersonal-skills-module-ending-toxic-and-finding-new-relationships/
  • ​​Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
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Episode 36. Interview with Dr. Jade wu: Sleep disorders

We spend about a third of our lives sleeping and yet sleep is a struggle for many of us. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Jade Wu, a Board-certified sleep medicine specialist and researcher at Duke University School of Medicine, about sleep disorders, sleep hygiene, dreaming, and CBT treatments for sleep issues. 

Resources:
  • https://www.jadewuphd.com/sleep-resources​
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Episode 37. ​Infertility Part 2: Our Personal Journey with Egg Freezing

To follow up on our previous popular episode on infertility (episode 30), Jacqueline shares her personal experiences as she goes through the egg freezing process and learning about her fertility issues. In this unique episode, we open up about our grief, worries, and conflicts about family planning when getting pregnant naturally is not an option. Be advised that this is a candid and emotional episode which contains personal information, medical descriptions, and swearing.  
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Episode 38. Season 1 Wrap up

For our final episode of our first season, we reflect on the lessons learned from all of our discussions, guests and listeners' stories from the past year. We also give updates and teasers for what's coming up in Season 2. 
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Season 2

Episode 39. Season 2 Premiere:
​imposter syndrome

We're back for an exciting second season! In this episode, we discuss imposter syndrome, the feeling of doubting yourself and your capabilities in a professional setting and being afraid of being exposed as a fraud. We discuss imposter syndrome in the light of gender and racial biases in the workplace, as well as tips for loved ones to suppose those who suffer from it. 

Resources:
  • Mullangi, S., & Jagsi, R. (2019). Imposter syndrome: treat the cause, not the symptom. Jama, 322(5), 403-404.
  • Imposter syndrome: Quick and Dirty Tips
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Episode 40. Discovering misophonia

Psychologists are just beginning to understand misophonia, a syndrome marked by intense reactions (e.g. rage) to specific sounds, like chewing, sniffing, or tapping. While we can all relate to the experience of being annoyed by certain sounds, people who suffer from misophonia find it debilitating and difficult to carry out a normal life. Yet, there is so much we don't know about this syndrome as the science is brand new. In this episode, we talk to Dr. Zach Rosenthal from Duke University, who is quickly becoming the world's leading expert on misophonia and its treatment as a psychological disorder. Dr. Rosenthal shares insights from our research in the Center for Misophonia and Emotion Regulation, especially tips on how loved ones can manage their symptoms. 

Resources:
  • The Duke Center for Misophonia and Emotion Regulation (https://misophonia.duke.edu).
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Episode 41. Dealing with Toxic FaMily members

Although they love us and often want the best for us, family members can often be huge sources of stress. Sometimes parents and other close family members can be difficult because they suffer from a mental illness, but other times our relationship with them is just toxic. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Caitlin Fang, a psychotherapist who has both personal and professional experience with dysfunctional family relationships. We discuss different types of toxic family dynamics as well as tips for how to cope with them.

Resources:
  • Fruzzetti, A. (2006). The high-conflict couple: A dialectical behavior therapy guide to finding peace, intimacy, and validation. New Harbinger Publications.
  • For more tips, check out our setting boundaries episode: Episode 7. Setting Boundaries
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Episode 42. The couples therapy process

Anyone who has been stuck in a pattern of endless conflict with a partner can understand how the quality of our romantic relationships can make or break our mental health. Even though it may seem like a last resort, couples therapy can have benefits at any stage of a relationship. In this episode, we discuss the process of couples therapy, including what to expect from treatment and how it works. Jacqueline and Kibby share their insights from both personal as well as professional experiences with couples therapy.

Resources:
  • Christensen, A., & Jacobson, N. S. (1999). Reconcilable differences. Guilford Press.
  • ​Johnson, S. (2008). Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love. Little, Brown Spark.
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Episode 43. Making relationships work

For this second episode of our couples series, we discuss what can make or break a romantic relationship. We share tips and insights from research by Dr. John Gottman, a renown marriage and relationship expert from University of Washington. Drawing from decades of his research, we talk about the signs that predict divorce with an impressive 91% accuracy. On the flip side, we share what is central to a healthy marriage and how to improve your relationship with simple, effective strategies.

Resources:
  • Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert. Harmony.
  • ​Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last?: How to build trust and avoid betrayal. Simon and Schuster.
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Episode 44. Infidelity

Cheating can be one of the most devastating forms of betrayals in a romantic relationship. In this episode, we discuss what is infidelity, why it happens, and how it impacts the individuals involved. From both a research and clinical perspective, we share insights on how a couple can work through infidelity and how other loved ones can support you after you've been cheated on. 

Resources:
  • Perel, E. (2017). The state of affairs: Rethinking infidelity-A book for anyone who has ever loved. Hachette UK.
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Episode 45. Divorce

For our final episode in our mini relationships series, we discuss divorce. Although almost half of marriages in the United States end in separation or divorce, but we rarely expect to go through it ourselves or plan how we would cope with it. Kibby shares her personal experiences coping with divorce and we share tips and recent research on the impact of divorce on mental health.

Resources:
  • https://www.mentalhelp.net/divorce/emotional-coping/​
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Episode 46. Parenting children with adhd

This episode was highly requested after our first ADHD episode Season 1. Having a child with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder can be especially challenging for parents. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Julia Schechter, a child and family clinical psychologist at Duke University about how parents can best support their children with ADHD. She gives an overview of ADHD in children, tips for parents, and special considerations/resources for girls with ADHD (e.g. the new Duke Center for Girls and Women with ADHD!).  

Resources:
  • Website: https://adhdgirlsandwomen.org/
  • Instagram:  @ADHDGirlsDuke
  • Twitter: @ADHDGirlsDuke
  • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDGirlsDuke
  • Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD): https://chadd.org/
  • Let’s Talk Kids Health: https://www.letstalkkidshealth.org/about
  • Take N.O.T.E.: https://www.understood.org/take-note
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Episode 47. Adhd in adulthood

We continue our deep dive into ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) by talking to an expert, Dr. Jessica Stern, who is a clinical assistant professor and psychologist at New York University. Dr. Stern shares her insights working with adults with ADHD, including strategies to manage ADHD symptoms, tips for loved ones, and treatment approaches. 

Resources:
  • Sarkis, S. M. (2011). Adult ADD: A Guide for the Newly Diagnosed. New Harbinger Publications.
  • Barkley, R. A. (2010). Taking charge of adult ADHD. Guilford Press.
  • Pera, G. (2008). Is it you, me, or adult ADD?: Stopping the roller coaster when someone you love has Attention Deficit Disorder. 1201 Alarm Press.
  • Orlov, M., & Bobier, F. (2010). The ADHD effect on marriage: Understand and rebuild your relationship in six steps. Plantation, FL: Specialty Press.
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Episode 48. PHobias!

Claustrophobia, arachnophobia, aerophobia, trypophobia may all sound like chorus members of a Greek tragedy, but actually describe different types of a common psychological disorder: Specific phobias. In this episode, we discuss what phobias are, how they develop, and how they are treated with cognitive behavioral therapies. Kibby and Jacqueline also share funny examples of phobias from their own life. 

Resources:
  • Craske, M. G., Antony, M. M., & Barlow, D. H. (2006). Mastering your fears and phobias. Oxford University Press.
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Episode 49. Embracing autism

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a range of conditions marked by different social skills, communication, and repetitive behaviors. Naturally, the social challenges inherent in this disorder can be difficult for loved ones of people with ASD. Dr. Catherine Jones, a research psychologist and director of the Wales Autism Research Center joins us to describe the signs and symptoms of autism and how loved ones can learn to embrace the unique perspective and gifts of people with ASD.

Resources:
  • The Birthday Party: a film about the SIGNS of autism in children.
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Episode 50. INterview with Sarah Edmondson: escaping a cult

We have something very special for our 50th episode: an interview with Sarah Edmonson, the actress and podcast host who escaped Nxivm. Featured on HBO's The Vow, Nxivm is a group organization that claims to be a personal and professional development program, but has been discovered as a cult that recruits for a secret society called "DOS" in which women are sexually exploited. Sarah describes her experiences in Nxivm and DOS, the journey to realizing the true nature of organization, and her process of healing after her departure. 

Resources:
  • "A Little Bit Culty" Podcast
  • Sarah's Memoir: "Scarred: The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM the Cult that Bound My Life."
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Episode 51. Making room for grief

Grief after losing a loved one can be overwhelming for both the individual and the friends and family who want to support them. When offering condolences to someone grieving, people often don't know how to say the "right" thing or even know how to help in this situation with no quick fix. We delve into the experience of grief through the lens of Kibby's loss in her personal life and Jacqueline's experience treating complicated grief in her clinical work. 

Resources:
  • Complicated grief resources
  • Didion, J. (2007). The year of magical thinking. Vintage.
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Episode 52. The principles of Attraction

Ever wonder what makes people attracted to each other? Or why you may be attracted to the "wrong person"? Or why you feel feel that spark of sexual chemistry with some people and not others? In this episode, Jacqueline and Kibby discuss the principles of attraction from a scientific perspective. As a bonus, Jacqueline describes her recent engagement and how ABC's The Bachelor used principles of attraction to sow the seeds of love season after season.

Resources:
  • Dutton, D.G., & Aron, A.P. (1974). Some evidence for heightened sexual attraction under conditions of high anxiety. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 30, 510-517.
  • Schachter, S., & Singer, J.E. (1962). Cognitive, social, and physiological determinants of emotional state. Psychological Review, 69, 379-399.
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Episode 53. Interview with sydney lotuaco: career transitions

For this episode, Sydney Lotuaco from ABC's The Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise and host of podcast Something to Share joins us to discuss  the many changes in her career. As a trained dancer, Sydney describes how her career became her identity, which faced a crisis during the pandemic. She also describes the toll it took on her mental health and her path to healing.

Resources:
  • @Sydneylotuaco
  • @somethingtosharepodcast
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EPISODE 54: obsessive compulsive disorder

Do you or someone you love have thoughts, images or urges that keep coming back even when they're not wanted? Or have to do something over and over, like checking something or counting up to a certain number? If so, this episode is for you: Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). In this episode, we describe the diagnosis and different types of OCD, the theory behind how it develops, and an effective treatment for OCD.

Resources:
  • ​Yadin, E., Foa, E. B., & Lichner, T. K. (2012). Treating Your OCD with Exposure and Response (Ritual) Prevention Workbook. Oxford University Press.
  • Graybiel, A. M., & Rauch, S. L. (2000). Toward a neurobiology of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Neuron, 28(2), 343-347.
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Episode 55. commitment issues

(We uploaded the wrong audio file initially, but the issue has been resolved! Sorry for the inconvenience.)
Following our episodes on relationships, we wanted to do an in-depth exploration of "f*ckboy" or "f*ckgirl" behavior. F*ckpeople are those who have difficulty committing to someone else romantically, sometimes hurting or leading on other people in the process. Well, what a great episode to introduce Kibby's new boyfriend, as a reformed f*ckboy himself. In this episode, the three of us describe our previous commitment issues from female and male perspectives, consider what drove those issues (e.g. dating apps?), and explore how we resolved those issues when we committed to serious relationships. 
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Episode 56. What is self-care, anyway?

Scrolling through Instagram, you might be showered with advice from mental health influencers to "just practice self-care" and "love yourself." But what does that even mean anyway? In this short and sweet episode, we delve into the definition of self-care and what that actually looks like from a clinical psychology perspective. We draw upon the principles of Behavioral Activation, a treatment for depression, to understand what activities actually promote mental health. 

Resources:
  • Handout for Behavioral Activation (Check out pages 5.11-5.12 about activities and values).
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Episode 57. bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder can be a serious and debilitating illness that swings from the lows of depression to the highs of mania. The expansive energy, lack of sleep, increase in impulsive and unusual behavior, and all around changes in character of someone in a manic episode can be especially alarming to loved ones. In this episode, we decode bipolar disorder and how to tell if someone is in a manic episode. We also talk about how there is a lot of hope for people with bipolar disorder and their loved ones, as there are very effective treatments available. Kibby discusses a few findings from her early project reviewing psychotherapies for bipolar depression.

Resources:
  • https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Bipolar-Disorder
  • McMahon, K., Herr, N. R., Zerubavel, N., Hoertel, N., & Neacsiu, A. D. (2016). Psychotherapeutic treatment of bipolar depression. Psychiatric Clinics, 39(1), 35-56.
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Episode 58. the one-size-fits-all approach: Transdiagnostic treatment

When some people suffer from so many different psychological problems and disorders at the same time, how can they get the biggest bang out of their buck in therapy? Clinical psychology has shifted into a "transdiagnostic approach," which focuses research and treatment on psychological problems that tie together separate disorders. In this episode, we describe one new transdiagnostic treatment, called the Unified Protocol for Transdiagnostic Emotional Disorders that was developed for anxiety, depression, and other types of emotional problems. The Unified Protocol gives a great example of this innovative approach to treatment. 

Resources:
  • www.unifiedprotocol.com/About/49/
  • Barlow, D. H., Ellard, K. K., Fairholme, C. P., & Boisseau, C. L. (2010). Unified protocol for transdiagnostic treatment of emotional disorders: Workbook. Oxford University Press.
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 Episode 59. How to change your thoughts

The thoughts running through our mind shape the way we see the world, other people, and ourselves. But what if the way we think keeps us stuck or unhappy? In this episode, we talk about the different ways cognitive behavioral therapists have changed the way patients think and rewire negative thought patterns. We also list several common "thinking traps," or thought patterns that often lead to anxiety or depression. Jacqueline demonstrates an intervention from the Unified Protocol as she tries to change Kibby's stubborn core beliefs that drive her to questionable levels of burnout. 

Resources:
  • Guide to tracking thoughts
  • ​Example thought records
  • List of thinking traps
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Episode 60. how to change your emotions

Do you have emotions you struggle with, like intense sadness, anxiety and anger that can get you into trouble? Sometimes when we have intense emotions, we can act in ways that can even make the situation worse, like getting into arguments or running away from a situation. To follow up on our CBT skills series, we discuss strategies for changing these unhealthy emotional patterns. We discuss emotions, how we behave when we're emotional, and a skill to change our emotions from the Unified Protocol treatment. 
  • Emotion Worksheets
  • Unified Protocol Treatment
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Episode 61. Interview with Dr. Schooler: Discovered memories of abuse

Is it possible to suddenly remember if you've been abused? We discuss this highly controversial topic with Dr. Jonathan Schooler, a distinguished professor in the Psychological and Brain Sciences department at University of California Santa Barbara. As one of the only researchers brave enough to tackle this topic, Dr. Schooler describes his work on memories of abuse and other early traumas that were discovered later in life. He shares insights from the research as well as some speculations on how we can tell if a discovered memory is real or false. 

Resources:
  • ​Schooler (2001) paper on Discovered Memories
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Episode 62. cutting out alcohol

Have you been knocking back a few too many glasses of Chardonnay these days? You're not alone. Especially after the pandemic, many people have noticed that they or their loved ones have started drinking a little too much alcohol (or indulging in other drugs) and want to cut down. However, sometimes "just stopping" isn't as easy as it sounds. In this episode, Jacqueline and Kibby talk about their recent experiences cutting back on drinking and share tips from Community Reinforcement and Family Training for how loved ones can help someone with addictive patterns or substance abuse.

Resources:
  • Foote, J., Wilkens, C., Kosanke, N., & Higgs, S. (2014). Beyond addiction: How science and kindness help people change. Simon and Schuster.
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Episode 63. pregnancy and mental health

Pregnancy is a wild ride of physical transformations, swells of emotion, and confusing hormones. So many changes can be taxing for mental health, both for the mother to be and her social support system. In this episode, we discuss Kibby's first pregnancy journey and the research on the mental health issues and treatment for pregnancy. We also share tips for partners and loved ones to support the process.

Resources:
  • Gyoerkoe, K., & Wiegartz, P. (2009). The Pregnancy and Postpartum Anxiety Workbook: Practical Skills to Help You Overcome Anxiety, Worry, Panic Attacks, Obsessions, and Compulsions. New Harbinger Publications.
  • Spinelli, M. G. (2017). Interpersonal Psychotherapy for Perinatal Depression: A Guide for Treating Depression During Pregnancy and the Postpartum Period (IPT-P). CreateSpace Independent Publishing.
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Episode 64. Shame and borderline personality disorder

Do you ever feel a little embarrassed when you do something foolish? Or do you ever feel so deeply ashamed of yourself that you hide from the world or lash out at others? These are different levels of shame, which can sometimes cause serious problems in your identity and relationships. In extreme forms, shame can be the core of borderline personality disorder (BPD). In this episode, we will define shame and highlight different ways people react to shame. Jacqueline will share her recent research into the role of shame in BPD. We also share tips for loved ones or people struggling with shame.

Resources
  • Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. L. (2003). Shame and guilt. Guilford Press.
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Episode 65. disgust

We're all familiar with disgust as the feeling of our stomach churning or scrunching our noses at the sight of something gross, but does this feeling lead to mental health issues? In this episode, we discuss how disgust may play an important role in many psychiatric disorders such as anxiety, OCD and even trauma. We also discuss the different types of disgust and strategies that could be helpful for coping with this emotion.

Resources:
  • Grant, S. (2021) Disgust: A Memoir. Scuppernong Editions.
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Episode 66. guilt

We feel guilty when we do something wrong, driving us to fix it, apologize or repair. Sounds great, doesn't it? As helpful as guilt can be sometimes, extreme levels or pathological guilt can drive symptoms of many mental health issues such as OCD, depression, PTSD or prolonged grief. In this episode, we discuss what guilt is, what pathological levels of guilt look like, and tips for yourself or loved ones to address problems with guilt.

Resources:
  • ​DBT Handout on Emotions (guilt on page 10)
  • Stewart, S. E., & Shapiro, L. (2011). Pathological guilt: A persistent yet overlooked treatment factor in obsessive-compulsive disorder. Annals of Clinical Psychiatry, 23(1), 63-70.
  • Cherry, M. G., Taylor, P. J., Brown, S. L., Rigby, J. W., & Sellwood, W. (2017). Guilt, shame and expressed emotion in carers of people with long-term mental health difficulties: A systematic review. Psychiatry research, 249, 139-151.
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Episode 67. all about ASMR

ASMR, or Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, is a tingling, pleasurable sensation you can get from listening to certain sounds or visuals. This mysterious and curious phenomenon has inspired an explosion of internet communities and resources in recent years, with some notable mental health benefits. For this episode, we discuss this growing trend with ASMR content creator Danny Docile, who explains what ASMR is, how he got into this work, and even gives us a little demonstration! If anything, tune into this episode to hear Danny's lovely, ASMR-inducing English accent.

Resources:
  • Danny Docile ASMR
  • Gibi ASMR
  • ShiverMeTingles ASMR​
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Episode 68. Relationship OCD

Do you or your loved ones obsess about being in the right relationship or being with the right partner? Although those questions are very common in every relationship, at an extreme level could be considered relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder (ROCD). ROCD is an understudied and relatively new form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that can interfere with intimacy or relational wellbeing. In this episode, we define ROCD, share the insights and tips from recent research, and speculate wildly about whether Jacqueline has it or not.

Resources:
  • Rajaee, S. (2022). Relationship OCD: A CBT-Based Guide to Move Beyond Obsessive Doubt, Anxiety, and Fear of Commitment in Romantic Relationships. New Harbinger Publications.
  • The Relationship OCD Test
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Episode 69. Interview with Jared Glenn: Bridging Social Divides

A common question we get is "what to do with the Fox News dad?" In other words, how do we maintain our relationships with our loved ones during this time of social divide and polarization? In this episode, we discuss these issues with Jared Glenn, who evolved from a life as a professional fighter to a historian, academic, writer, and advocate for youth through the All Stars Project. Jared shares insights from his personal and professional experiences with racial, political and economic social barriers and gives us tips on bridging those gaps.

Resources:
  • https://allstars.org/
  • Jared's Instagram: do.right.and.fear.nothing
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Episode 70. jealousy

A little flare of jealousy when someone flirts with your partner may be exciting once in a while, but it can damage a relationship when it becomes intense or consuming. Unhealthy or "morbid" jealousy can reach levels of obsessive suspicions, controlling behaviors, checking emails and social media, or even violence. In this episode, we discuss unhealthy forms of jealousy, who is most likely to suffer from jealousy, and tips for improving a jealousy-ridden relationship.

Resources:
  • Self-Report Jealousy Scale
  • Johnson, S. (2008). Hold me tight: Seven conversations for a lifetime of love. Little, Brown Spark.
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Episode 71. envy

Only one basic emotion has the unique position of being one of the seven deadly sins and a criteria for a serious personality disorder: Envy! Envy is a feeling that comes from a desire to have what someone else has. Although it can motivate us to compete for resources and power, it can of course have an ugly side when it tips into aggression. In this episode, we discuss what envy is, who struggles with it, and tips from CBT for how to overcome it. 

Resources:
  • Leahy, R. L. (2021). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for envy. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 45(3), 418-427.
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Episode 72. season 2 wrap up

We wrap up season 2 by reflecting on our episodes that focused on relationships, emotions and skills we can use to change our unhealthy patterns. Both of us have gone through our own personal, journeys with love, pregnancy, engagements, conflicts and intense feelings during this season. In this vulnerable final episode, we discuss lessons learned in our personal lives and on this podcast.

We look forward to joining you all again for Season 3 this fall!
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Season 3

Episode 73. Difficult decisions in romance: breaking off an engagement

**Note: This episode has been removed upon request
We always have to make difficult decisions in romantic relationships, such as whom to choose, whether we should commit to someone, or when to leave. Although loved ones can sometimes want to weigh in on our difficult romantic decisions, it's hard for them to know exactly how to help. In this episode, we discuss Jacqueline's recent difficult decision to break off her engagement, what lead up to the decision, and the role that her loved ones played. We also share insights from the research on how people make difficult decisions in romance.

Resources:
  • Le, B., & Agnew, C. R. (2003). Commitment and its theorized determinants: A meta–analysis of the Investment Model. Personal Relationships, 10(1), 37-57.
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Episode 74. Rebounds

When you go through a serious break up, we often rebound into another relationship to ease the heartbreak. At this time, your loved ones may give you unsolicited advice about rebounding, such as "yes, get back out there!" or "no, take time to be single." What's the right answer? Is it good or bad to get into a rebound relationship right after a big break up? In this episode, we discuss the different reasons why someone might rebound and the pros and cons of this decision. 

Resources:
  • Brumbaugh, C. C., & Fraley, R. C. (2015). Too fast, too soon? An empirical investigation into rebound relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32(1), 99-118.
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Episode 75. The Joys and horrors of new parenthood

People often say that becoming a parent is "the hardest thing" but also "the most joy you'll ever experience." What the hell does that even mean? As Kibby just became a new mom only a few weeks ago, she breaks down why having a newborn can be both amazing and challenging. We also discuss how crucial loved ones are during this time and how you can support a friend or family member who just became a parent. 

Resources:
  • Resources and communities for new parents:​www.whattoexpect.com​
  • Program for Early Parent Support
  • Send food to your loved one with MealTrain
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Episode 76. How to spot a narcissist

**Note: This episode has been removed upon request
Convinced your loved one (or unloved one) is a narcissist but can't really tell? Narcissistic behavior can be hard to spot these days as it often shows up as expressions of shame, hurt, or even feeling like a victim. Vulnerable, or "covert" narcissism can be harder to identify than the arrogant, showy grandiose version but it can be just as damaging to loved ones. In this episode, we describe vulnerable/covert narcissism in depth and how to tell if your loved one is showing signs of this problematic narcissistic behavior.

Resources:
  • A great example of vulnerable narcissism from HBO's "Girls"
  • Miller, J. D., Lynam, D. R., Hyatt, C. S., & Campbell, W. K. (2017). Controversies in narcissism. Annual review of clinical psychology, 13(1), 291-315.
  • Test for vulnerable narcissistic behavior with the Hypersensitive Narcissism Scale
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Episode 77. Boosting self-esteem

We all know that high self-esteem is supposed to be good, but what is it, anyway? Is it just feeling good about yourself? What happens if you or a loved one has low self-esteem? In this episode, we define self-esteem and discuss an interesting theory of how self-esteem is a "sociometer" of our value in society. From this perspective, we give tips on how to boost self-esteem in yourself and your loved ones.
  • The Sociometer Theory of Self-Esteem
  • Hoyle, R. H., Kernis, M. H., Leary, M. R., & Baldwin, M. W. (1999). Social psychology series. In Selfhood: Identity, esteem, regulation. Boulder, CO, US: Westview Press.
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Episode 78. antisocial personality disorder

From Patrick Bateman, to Walter White, to Elizabeth Holmes, we're fascinated by people with antisocial personality disorder. Although, when we toss around similar terms like "psychopath" or "sociopath," it's hard to know what this disorder really is or even how to spot it in our loved ones. In this episode, we define what antisocial personality disorder is and how it relates to psychopathy and sociopathy. We also share examples from popular culture and our personal lives as well as answer fan questions about antisocial personality disorder.

Resources:
  • Hare, R. D. (1999). Without conscience: The disturbing world of the psychopaths among us. Guilford Press.
  • Article on Hare's Psychopathy Checklist
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Episode 79. histrionic personality disorder

Do you have a loved one who is always the life of the party, everyone's best friend, and a "drama queen"? If so, they may have a touch of histrionic personality disorder! In this episode, we describe what histrionic personality disorder is and how it could be difficult for loved ones. Then, Kibby has a crushing realization about her own history with histrionic personality disorder and loses track of everything after that. 

Resources:
  • ​Pfohl, B. (1991). Histrionic personality disorder: A review of available data and recommendations for DSM-IV. Journal of Personality Disorders, 5(2), 150-166.
  • French, J. H., & Shrestha, S. (2021). Histrionic personality disorder. In StatPearls [Internet]. StatPearls Publishing.
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Episode 80. avoidant personality disorder

Is your loved one an expert ghoster or the first one to run from a social situation? People with avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) are not just shy or a little aloof, but avoid relationships and social situations in order to hide a deep sense of inadequacy. In this episode, we describe what AVPD is, how it's different from similar disorders like social anxiety, how it's treated, and tips for loved ones of people with AVPD.

Resources:
  • Weinbrecht, A., Schulze, L., Boettcher, J., & Renneberg, B. (2016). Avoidant personality disorder: a current review. Current psychiatry reports, 18(3), 1-8.
  • Alden, L. E., Laposa, J. M., Taylor, C. T., & Ryder, A. G. (2002). Avoidant personality disorder: Current status and future directions. Journal of personality disorders, 16(1), 1.
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Episode 81. Cringe: Judging being judgmental

Whether we're aware of it or not, we're constantly judging things are good or bad, valuable or worthless, cool or not cool. Judging ourselves and others is such a common phenomenon, but it can lead to significant mental health and relationship issues. In this episode, we discuss being judgmental, what function it serves and how it can impair our wellbeing. We also discuss tips for how to be less judgmental of ourselves or our loved ones.

Resources:
  • Teachman, B. A., Joormann, J., Steinman, S. A., & Gotlib, I. H. (2012). Automaticity in anxiety disorders and major depressive disorder. Clinical psychology review, 32(6), 575-603.
  • Brondino, N., Fusar-Poli, L., & Politi, P. (2017). Something to talk about: gossip increases oxytocin levels in a near real-life situation. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 77, 218-224.
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Episode 82. Interview with Dr. Sanderson: Changing your Attachment patterns

You and your loved ones may find yourselves making the same mistakes in love over and over again: avoiding commitment, choosing the wrong partner, analyzing and obsessing over every text, etc. Attachment theory taught us that we may have particular patterns in relationships, whether they're secure or insecure. However, are we doomed to make the same mistakes for the rest of our lives? Thankfully, Dr. Catherine Sanderson reassures us that we aren't! In this episode, we discuss how we can improve our attachment patterns with Dr. Sanderson, the Poler family professor of psychology at Amherst College and an expert on close relationships. She shares insights and tips from the latest research on attachment patterns. 

Resources:
  • Check out Dr. Sanderson's book: "The positive shift: Mastering mindset to improve happiness, health and longevity." 
  • Another book on attachment theory that Dr. Sanderson recommends: "Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find- and keep- love."
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Episode 83. ​Interview with Dr. Kate Lund: Resilience in the Face of Mental and Physical Challenges

When someone is diagnosed with a chronic mental or physical health challenge, it creates a host of difficulties for his or her loved ones: What does it mean to live with a new diagnosis? How do we cope together? Should we hold them to the same level of expectation or accommodate for their new limitations? Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, peak performance coach, best-selling author and TEDx speaker. In this episode, Dr. Lund describes what it means to be resilient, drawing on her own history with a serious neurological disorder and her clinical work with families.

Resources:
  •  www.katelundspeaks.com
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Episode 84. Long-term signs of emotional abuse

Emotional abuse can be the sneakiest form of abuse because sometimes we're not even sure it's happening. A slightly sarcastic insult, a veiled threat, or a judgment on your intentions, emotional (or"psychological") abuse is harder to detect than physical violence, but can wreak havoc on your mental health for years. In this episode, we describe what emotional abuse is and what are its long term effects. 

Resources:
  • Emotional Abuse Questionnaire
  • McMahon, K., Hoertel, N., Wall, M. M., Okuda, M., Limosin, F., & Blanco, C. (2015). Childhood maltreatment and risk of intimate partner violence: A national study. Journal of psychiatric research, 69, 42-49.
  • Orzeck, T. L., Rokach, A., & Chin, J. (2010). The effects of traumatic and abusive relationships. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 15(3), 167-192.
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Episode 85. Dissecting Dissocation

What if we told you that our brains can shut down to protect themselves? When we face intensely scary or overwhelming experiences, sometimes we disconnect from the present as a coping mechanism. This is called dissociation, a process of disconnecting from present experiences like your thoughts, feelings, memories, your body, or even reality itself. In this episode, we discuss the different types of dissociation, what it feels like, and how we help ourselves and others during these dissociative states. 

Resources:
  • Check out the Dissociative Experiences Scale- II for a self-report measure of dissociation. 
  • Zerubavel, N., & Messman-Moore, T. L. (2015). Staying present: Incorporating mindfulness into therapy for dissociation. Mindfulness, 6, 303-314.
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Episode 86. Can Money buy Happiness?

Can money buy happiness? Maybe! Financial stress is a major contributor to serious mental health issues, especially depression and anxiety. But the numbers on your bank statement are not the only things that determine your psychological wellbeing. In this episode, we discuss the research on the effect of money and financial hardship on mental health and happiness. We also walk through one framework for how to boost your financial coping skills with your loved ones.

Resources:
  • Frankham, C., Richardson, T., & Maguire, N. (2020). Psychological factors associated with financial hardship and mental health: A systematic review. Clinical psychology review, 77, 101832.
  • ​Can money buy happiness?
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Episode 87. interview with jess cook: ​The Intersection of Sexuality, Christianity, and Mental Health

How can sexuality, spirituality, and mental health intersect and develop together? In this episode, we interview the first openly trans and nonbinary pastor of the Presbyterian Church, Jess Cook. We discuss gender, including how Jess came to identify as nonbinary, early signs that they were genderqueer, and how friends and family can help their loved ones struggling with gender dysphoria— and how they can manage their own complex feelings. We also discuss how Christianity came to exclude queer people and why this exclusion is anathema to Christian principles. Jess tells us about their own inclusive church and their experience helping queer youth feel welcome and safe within Christianity.

Resources:
  • Jess Cook's Every Table, a new inclusive worshipping community
  • genderspectrum.org
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Episode 88. The Mind-Body Connection in Trauma

The words of Thai Massage Master Pichest, we need to learn to "listen to body." Trauma and other emotions live in the body, sometimes sending us important signals through our physical sensations and physical health. In this episode, we talk about the magical connection between the mind and the body. Kibby also reminisces about her yoga teaching and Thai massage days when she learned the healing power of the body in the middle of a rice patty in Chiang Mai.

Resources:
  • Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York.
  • ​Yehuda, R., & Lehrner, A. (2018). Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms. World psychiatry, 17(3), 243-257.
  • Kuhfuß, M., Maldei, T., Hetmanek, A., & Baumann, N. (2021). Somatic experiencing–effectiveness and key factors of a body-oriented trauma therapy: a scoping literature review. European journal of psychotraumatology, 12(1), 1929023.
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